Hijab: Oppression or Liberation?

Dear reader, 

Don’t read the title and assume that this is another Muslim woman attempting to enforce her laws in a culture that does not want manipulation or “Eastern” influence. I see myself as a “Live and let live” individual, so I kindly ask you to allow me to finish my argument and then I’ll allow you to question my beliefs. Read this with an open mind.  

It’s a sunny London day and I’m on the tube. A woman walks into the carriage, wearing shorts that are no less revealing than a pair of knickers & a low cut vest with her cleavage exposed. As she walked past, almost every single person in the carriage stared at her. Men were gawping. Lost. No added decorations or exaggeration for dramatic effects. I say this exactly how it was. To the far right, I saw two men tilt their iPhones towards her direction. Lucky for me (!), I was wearing contacts so it didn’t take me long to realise that they were taking photos of her backside. They were nudging one another and laughing, eyes fixed on her body. Disturbing, yet far from surprising. She stood in the middle as if a form of entertainment for the bored commuters of the city. And how much do you have to pay for entertainment nowadays? Not much. She became nothing more than an excessively perfumed naked body, with a few strings covering here and there. 

Put all hatred towards Islam aside and rid yourself of any misconceptions for the time being. Stop. Think. If that woman was to ignite an intellectual conversation with anyone, how many would concentrate on the content of her speech and not on the revealed flesh? As a woman, I can honestly say that as well as thinking how good looking she is, I’d also be picking out the flaws in her body. Whether it’s examining her stretch marks or cellulite, because that’s just how it is. A woman would analyse negatively and a man would be drawn to the apparent beauty, neglecting any other factors. These are the laws of attraction. Human attraction, not Islamic. Would I be attentive to her during such a conversation? Of course, out of respect, I would be. But, not as much. Why? Because there’s a distraction. She has placed an obstacle in the path of respect.

Now here’s another scenario – what if she was modestly dressed? (I’ll discuss below what I mean by “modest” and that does not include wearing black only or covering the face. It’s quite far from that, actually).

A woman walks into the tube, dressed in a way that leaves no room for judging by appearance because I can’t see the curls on her head, how big her thighs are or how small her waist is. This woman would be forcing me to look up at her. I won’t be given a chance to think of how much she needs to tone up or lose the kgs, nor would a man be placed the opportunity to see where her curves lie or how big her bosoms are. She demands that you listen to her words and judge her based on that and nothing else. She receives respect and appreciation. Correct me if I’m mistaken, but surely this is liberation? 

This woman has freed herself from the chains of modern society. Free from the sexual objectification of women. Free from having to live up to the physical expectations of the world. How many of us have driven past a H&M billboard from last season’s bikini range and thought “Wow, I could sit down with this woman and share deep thoughts”? In fact, how many of us even took a moment to look at their faces? They became nothing. Merely objects and dolls used for marketing through targeting man’s greatest weakness.

Can you still expect me to believe that these women are free and that I’m oppressed? Regardless of how challenging it was in the weather, never did I appreciate my Hijab more than during this show of “Freedom” & “Female progression” on the tube.

Some will probably come forward and say that men don’t respect women anyway so why bother? And I’ll say to them that you shouldn’t be liaising with uneducated men that are adamant on being sexist snobs anyway. Defeat their ideas and let your personalities shine. 

Raise your voices, not your skirts.

Here’s a not-so-great example to explain the concept further. You place an incredible toy in front of child. You tell the child that it belongs to someone else and forbid it from playing with the toy. Now this child may be the most well raised being and probably won’t go near it. But, does it stop it from thinking of ways to attain it? Inside, the child is plotting and scheming of ways. The child is taught not to touch that which is not his or hers, but it’s unrealistic to expect it not to think of ways to get the toy. So, why torment the child in the first place? Some will take it anyway, which is wrong, but not a far-fetched expectation. They had no right to BUT they did, so you’re left to deal with the consequences. My point is that it’s not logical for a person to have their body exposed and be oblivious to the results. A woman that walks in the night half-naked does not deserve rape. No one at all deserves this atrocity nor does a rapist have the right to inflict such pain in a person’s life. I understand why many are infuriated by this “She’s dressed like that so she deserves to get hurt” argument because it is in fact as stupid as it sounds. It greatly angers me too. But, there are people out there with no sense of morality or emotions, so don’t fall into a trap. It CAN be avoided and this is exactly what Islam is trying to emphasise on. Your body is yours, protect it. You deserve more than getting hurt by an imbecile. You have the right to be judged on what is IN your head and not what is apparent. You will be evaluated for intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexual appeal. Utilise this right to gain respect because you are only worth that and more.

What is unfortunate is that many assume that the concept of Hijab is based on the barbaric stereotype that every man is an untamed lustful animal and every woman is heavenly pure. Therefore, Islam enforces the dressing of the female in black from head to toe, walking a few metres behind her polygamist husband that has no boundaries due to his uncontrollable nature. False.

Man was created with desire, something which Islam does not defy nor object to. Hijab is a two way thing. Allah tells the believing men to lower their gaze BEFORE He informs the believing women of their duties with regards to modesty. It’s a concept that can only work when both genders have practised this self-restraint and control. A proper Muslim man and woman are expected to not be looking anyway. But, they are also expected to cover up so as to not create the possibility of unacceptable sexual arousal, which can be consequential. We are required to control our temptations but we are also taught to AVOID creating them for each other. At the same time, Islam highly encourages the relationships between men and women through marriage. However, we are taught to honour and strengthen our relationship with our spouse, building it on love and respect. Dare I say this, but allowing another man to see your wife partially naked is far from honouring your relationship with her.

Now, to define “modest”. Islam does not have a fixed dress code that a Muslim woman must adhere to. However, certain requirements must be met. How a woman meets this is up to her and is dependent upon where she is. It requires a female to cover her body, excluding the face and the hands, and wear loose clothing so as to not give any indications regarding her physique. There is male Hijab, with the differences lying mainly in degree. It should also not be tight or provocative. As well as this, both are expected to observe their behaviour, manners, speech and appearance in public as part of their Hijab.

What you see in Saudi Arabia and other Eastern countries isn't Islam. The problem today is that people are unable to distinguish between Islamic law and fierce cultural standpoints. These governments have attempted to construct systems using Islam but believe me when I tell you that they’ve done it all wrong. They've abused the teachings of the Quran and manipulated them. Laws which are so logical yet so simple have been made to seem convoluted and aggressive. If a priest told me that raping an immodest woman or poisoning a disbeliever is obligatory, I wouldn't frown and curse Christianity. I’d reconsider his mental state because having read the bible, I know that no religion would encourage such violence.

So, why do you place those terrorists in the front line when it comes to understanding Islam? An idiot with an ankle sweeping dress, a long beard and severe personal problems shouldn’t be enough for you to judge Islam. I ask of you to read the Quran. Understand It. With regards to Hijab, you’ll appreciate it if you spoke to Muslim women in the West. Don’t feel embarrassed to question me about my headscarf or assume that I’d be offended. We love it when you ask us! We only progress as a society when we exchanged ideas in a respectful manner, without having to necessarily agree with each other. The most effective debates are those that are healthy.

Believe me, I was never forced into the Hijab. Yes, my parents were very adamant on me wearing it. But, if I decided to take it off tomorrow, I would cause an uproar sure, but at the end of the day it’s my choice. So when I wear the Hijab for the rest of my life, it’s because I love and appreciate what it’s done for me, not because I’m oppressed. So think twice before you throw such remarks, because this was a decision that many of us Muslim women have made on our own.

With our Hijab, we have freed ourselves. 

A Journey to Hijab

This was written by a good friend that wished to share her personal Hijab story...

A while back my very good friend posted a blog about her own struggles whilst observing the Hijab, and it was truly inspirational- inspirational enough for me to get writing about my own experience and challenges (although I don't think they will ever compare to her's).

As a young girl, my family had two kinds of people- the 'religious', and the more liberal, 'progressive', more cultural relatives. The latter were the more dominant bunch but the same way a little girl gets excited or looks forward to wearing or experiencing high heels or jewellery or other 'grown up' things (apologies for such a petty comparison), I was extremely keen to put on the Hijab. Seeing other older girls and women in the family wear it made me look forward to my ninth birthday. It almost seemed like a rites of passage.

So, it was my ninth birthday, there was a family dinner type of thing and I came downstairs all dressed up, but with something unusual and extra- my Hijab. Instantly I was told to go upstairs and take it off and at the time, I did as I was told. The years went by and every now and then I'd ask again if I could start wearing Hijab, and for reasons that I never understood back then, it was always postponed. When you turn 11, when you turn 12, 13...but the day when everyone in the family would happily let me wear Hijab just wouldn't come.

Looking back, although I most definitely do not agree with the reasoning of those who didn't want me to wear Hijab, I can understand their concerns. Namely that I was 9- what does a 9 year old know? Hijab was a huge decision- I say decision because it wasn't a norm in my family at the time- and 9 was just too tender an age to flit to a decision like that. After wearing Hijab I began to realise exactly why Allah (swt) had ordained girls to start observing Hijab at such a tender age- I realised that physical Hijab complimented social Hijab, it becomes a part of who you are. Apologies for the cheesy analogy but imagine a young baby plant tied to a firm, upright stick in order to direct its growth...now if that plant was allowed to grow freely for years and then the stick was tied to it, it would be near impossible for the direction of growth to change to match the stick. If the stick was tied from the beginning of growth, the plant would grow upright much more easily. The other fear was probably that I'd later regret my decision and take the Hijab off- which back then was a seemingly much bigger deal than it has become today. And lastly, I still feel like a possible reason for their stance was the possible discrimination, hindrance of career and education prospects. Anyway, as I said the years went by and still, not everyone was comfortable with the idea.

When I was 14, it was the Wiladat Fatima al Zahra (a.s) and we went to a mowlood. I wore my Hijab there because it was the norm- not with the intention of keeping it on permanently. I know a lot of people who struggle with things like Hijab or music or whatever find these kinds of holy dates or Muharram or Shahr Ramadhan useful as a turning points. They might promise themselves to stop listening to music on the 15th of Sha'ban or start wearing the Hijab when they come back from a Ziyara- but it wasn't like that for me. I hadn't thought about this date in particular, or when I would put the Hijab on- I was just waiting for approval. But that day, I have no idea why, out of the blue I just thought, 'I'm going to keep it on.' It wasn't even some kind of motivational, impulsive surge of will power or energy. It was the calmest, most peaceful decision I'd ever made. Call me overly emotional or away with the fairies, but I truly believe that Fatima al Zahra (a.s) herself gave me that little push.

Drama followed. Or at least to my 14 year old self it seemed like drama. Some relatives stopped speaking to me for a while- probably to pressure me to take it off, others would try and convince me I wasn't ready- it was just a phase, or try and sway me with emotional blackmail- upsetting family members, disobeying, etc etc. It was a big deal for me- for the first time in my life, these people who I'd looked up to, obeyed, loved all my life were suddenly turning against me for reasons I didn't understand or agree with. I felt stubborn, but without choice. I remember such distinct moments when I'd be alone and I'd speak to Fatimat al Zahra (a.s) and tell her that since she was the one to give me the push to make this decision, she would have to be there with me to see it through also.

I don't mean to sound idealistic or make this a romantic sob story but honestly, when I look back at the challenges I came through, I don't know how I ended up where I am today. If I had to go through it all again, I don't think I'd manage- I think I would have given in, and that's why I have such firm belief in the help of Fatima al Zahra (a.s). I remember times when I would genuinely consider just listening to my family in order to put an end to the drama and hostility, and I don't know...every time I guess I'd remember who's obedience I was prioritising and I'd stick to my guns once again.

Alhamdulillah, after a few months of denial, cold shoulders, and some other stuff I don't want to get into, I guess they 'got over it', for lack of a better phrase. There wasn't much anyone could do. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that putting on the Hijab was the best decision I had ever made in my life. It changed everything for me. Suddenly I found myself giving more attention to praying on time, avoiding music, wanting to go to majalis, just an overall 'religious' vibe took over me. I guess it was that I felt like I had to live up to the essence of Hijab. It had become a part of who I was. One thing I noticed straight away was how my confidence shot up through the roof when I started observing Hijab. I was so much comfortable with myself, my views, what I wanted to say. Even my school teachers had noticed a change- I was usually the quiet shy girl whose feedback on parents' evenings would be that she was too silent in class and didn't input in class discussions. Suddenly I became a noticeably active participant of class debates, sometimes even staying behind to continue a philosophical chat with teachers after class ended (keen bean, I know).

I cannot say it enough- Hijab is the best thing that has happened to me. I didn't write this blog for people to admire me through the struggle, or for sympathy for it, or anything else of the sort. I wrote it because I know there are probably many girls and young (or old) women who are facing similar and probably worse problems than I did. My message: the struggle is worth it. I cannot stress enough what goodness Hijab brought into my life. I hate to imagine what I would be withouth my Hijab, only God knows. Alhamdulillah Rab-il 'alameen, I will never, ever be able to show enough gratitude for being blessed with this gift of Hijab.

Jumping to Judgement

“I’m out and I see my cousin, should I say Salam to her?”

Of course not. They’ll say you’re in a relationship.

“I’ve just started wearing the Hijab but noticed that my close friend wasn’t wearing it properly. Shall I advise her?”

Of course not. When you graduate from the University of Hijab then maybe but don’t you dare tell her what to do just yet.

“I’m a young, single guy and want to organise a Majlis, will I be judged?”

Of course you will. They’ll say your intention is impure and you’re up there to advertise yourself.

“I’ve sinned in the past but have changed Alhamdulillah. Shall I tweet a hadith on repentance that had inspired me on this journey?” 

Of course not. Do you think you’re a Sheikh? What a disgusting ‘holier than thou’ attitude you’re developing.

“I’m really interested in a religious sister from a wealthy background but don’t have the best job in the world, do you think I should propose?” 

Of course not. Unless you’re a manager at a bank, drive a Mercedes and currently own a house under your name. Otherwise, they’ll say you’re after the money. 

I could go on forever.

A gossiping society of hasty judgements that does not think twice before jumping to farfetched conclusions – this is what we have become. 

The above examples are a few, believe it or not, "casual" encounters which one must bear in order to survive in such conditions. So yes, there are far worse. Too many of us have placed blinkers on and refuse to see a situation from different angles. We don't give each other chances. We see or hear something and rush to drag each other down because, to be quite frank, we're having too much fun at it.

"We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say". But we don't listen. We gossip, judge with confidence and point fingers easily, as if we are indestructible and exemplary. We are nothing less of a dangerously judgemental community to the extent that even if I'm doing something completely normal, I have to think many times before it because one way or another, it will be perceived as something wrong and so let the Chinese whispers commence.

Upon defining the verb "judge", we get "to decide", "to assess" etc. There's nothing wrong with distinguishing between what is right and what is wrong. However, what's problematic is our perception of right and wrong, derived from extreme cultural standpoints, which we use to judge each other upon and we look down on people for that. We don't encourage each other to do good because we're too busy finding flaws in one another. 

Recently, #TwitterHijab was trending and it received a vast range of reactions. It was a good initiative as I think it is far more effective when the youth learn from each other, as opposed to hearing about social hijab in a one hour lecture at the mosque. We share similar social problems and can help one another to improve, but we didn’t even give that a chance.

The first Quranic verses that came to mind when I saw the tweets were “…Why do you preach what you do not practise? How despicable it is in the sight of Allah that you may preach what you do not practise” [61:3]. It would have been nice to see more implementing and less Tweeting. Reading them, I felt that they were all directed at a few people who, naturally, would have spoken out in defence. You can’t humiliate someone publicly, even if they are abusing social hijab, and not expect a negative reaction. It doesn't work like that and never will.

Here’s a short story showing the beautiful approach and etiquette of our Imams which you’ve probably heard:

An old man sat to do his Wudhu (Ablution) but was doing it incorrectly. Imam Hassan (as) and Imam Hussain (as), young boys at the time, saw him and immediately realised that he was not doing it correctly, but they hesitated to tell him directly. Why? Why would an infallible hesitate? Because they thought that perhaps the old man would feel humiliated by them or might even lose interest in the act of worship. Sitting next to him, they started to do the Wudhu and during it, Imam Hassan (as) would say “Oh Hussain, my Wudhu is correct and more perfect than your Wudhu”. Imam Hussain insisted that his was better. So they said “Let us refer to this gentleman, he is older than us and should be able to decide”. The old man was listening patiently. The Imams performed their Wudhu, under his supervision, one after the other. When they had finished, the old man realised the flaws in his Wudhu. He turned to the Imams and gently said “You have both done it correctly. I am grateful that you chose to guide me in such a beautiful manner”.

Makes you think, doesn’t it? They’re unable to sin and have reached the highest levels of perfection, but examine how they chose to tell others of their mistakes. Such a strategic and eloquent approach, leaving the other person with no choice but to reconsider their actions. This is what we need more of. I have to agree that many of the tweets were very “bam! In your face”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with advising one another, but do it out of love, not spitefulness.

But, I’ll act as the counterbalance. Many made a mockery of it, which in a way, was perceived to be ridiculing the entire notion of improving social Hijab. Also, as ironic as it may have seemed, those “preachy” 140 characters shouldn’t have given anyone an excuse to judge the “opposition”. Yes, their approach could have been better but to see the transition from a respectable range of tweets to personal attacks and indirects was embarrassing. It’s as if that trend was a trigger to release all the hate you had for someone. Again, how does that make us look? We trend with the goal of spiritual progression but end up with social deterioration. It’s saddening because we can do so much with what we have but too easily, the judging and gossiping ruins it all once again.

So, even if someone is doing something which is unacceptable, we don’t come together to deal with the issue calmly & swiftly. Rather, we pounce like lions, put on our Islamic police uniforms and tell the person “Hey, you’re sinning and you’re probably feeling bad about it but have no fear, I’m here to make you feel that bit worse”. This is our problem. Instead of assisting one another to advance, many find joy in gathering to list the wrong doings of so and so, oblivious to the fact that there are always two sides to a story. Those judging are probably drowned in their own sins too but hey, your sins seem to ignite more gossip so let’s pick on you.

Here’s another great example: Girls taking off their Hijab. Yes, it’s haram but look around you. The aggressive reactions that these girls have received are one of the primary causes as to why this problem is now epidemic. If she’s taken it off, then it’s obvious that it’s because she has not fully understood or appreciated the logic behind it, otherwise she would not have taken it off. How many of us stopped and thought, maybe I ought to talk to her gently instead of rehearsing my “dirty look” and saving it for every time I saw her? If you do get round to actually talking, you’ll discover that they all have one personal issue which has led to the abandoning of the Hijab – low self-esteem. So, the Hijab isn’t the ultimate problem. This low self-esteem is what leads to them facing struggles, which I’ve mentioned in “Struggles of a towel head”, in wearing the Hijab. 

We need to smile at these sisters and help them. Weigh up the pros and cons of developing such a strategic method with the pros of scolding, judging and gossiping. I can’t think of a single advantage to be honest, except that of a peculiar form of self-satisfaction. The consequences, however, are great. With such negative energy radiating from us as a whole, we eliminate even that slightest possibility of the sister putting it back on. Many do think about it constantly when they’ve taken it off and the feelings of regret build up and eat them inside, even if it doesn’t seem it. But when you get so much hatred aimed at you, the last thing you’d think off is going back because even then, due to judgemental natures, you’d STILL be looked down upon. So why bother anyway, right? (I speak about the majority of the people here but I do personally know some who have tried to aid the situation so don’t assume I’m releasing my frustration at society as a whole).

Imam Ali (as) says to Malik Al-Ashtar: “If one night you see someone committing a sin, tomorrow don’t look at him as a sinner, he may have repented during the night and you didn’t know”. We can learn so much from that to deal with such issues.

Now you may accuse me of being a pessimist for highlighting the flaws in our communities, but why praise endlessly when there are still vast improvements to be made? We have achieved so much, but this judgemental nature must be defeated as it hinders any future progress, be it personal or social, as “Criticism polishes my mirror”.

With all honesty, us youth are far less judgemental than the elders, but attempting to change the attitudes of the elders has proved to be, without exaggeration, an impossible mission. So the hope lies within us.

I didn’t intend on preaching in this blog, so I apologise if that’s what it seems like I’m doing. I just believe that we have so many obstacles which we can tackle together, if we all change the way we see each other. Let’s busy ourselves with our own sins and adopt more tactical methods of getting the messages across. Less judging. Less gossiping.

Crown of Liberty

Like the sun to the Earth, you illuminated me.
Like the clouds to the sun, you concealed me.
Like a mother’s womb to her foetus, you protected me.
Like an oyster shell to its pearl, you shielded me.
Like a pod to its peas, you preserved me.
Like a bee to sweet nectar, you conserved me.
Like a bird to its nest, you defended me.
Like strong roots to its tree, you empowered me.
Like the roof over my head, you sheltered me.
Like the wings of a bird, you set me free.

You are my Hijab.

When I was falling, you were the iron fist that held me on to the rope of salvation.

When I was feeling low, you helped me climb the ladder to elevate my status to the skies.

When I was being discriminated against, you injected me with pride and motivation to persist.

When I was feeling unworthy, you whispered “A sincere queen of value and nothing less you can be”.

When I was losing my voice, you amplified my words and strengthened me.

When I was told I was ugly, you shimmered to release my inner beauty.

When I was told I was oppressed, you reminded me of Zainab (as) and liberated me.

A Shawl of Diamonds, lowered from paradise, on my head you proudly rest.
“You deserve the Paradise; don’t sell yourself for anything less”.


You are my Hijab, my Crown of Liberty.