6th of December, 2011. That day strikes
vivid memories, ones which I have tried so hard to push away & find myself
teary writing about. I lost a true hero and a role model, my paternal grandfather.
A few days before he passed away, he fell into a deep coma and was showing slow
signs of recovery. The doctor was going to operate on him but informed us that
it had a 5% success rate. My emotionally distraught father left everything, booked
a same day flight to Iran and we were left here hopeless.
On the night of the 6th
of Muharram, or the night of Abu Fadhil Al-Abbas (as), I went to Hussainiya
with my mother and sisters. We all prayed for his health but the suffering of
the years meant that Jido was constantly in excruciating pain, so a part of me
was wishing for his comfort, oblivious to the fact that death was possibly just
that. It was packed and I was standing near the door of the smaller hall at the
back for the women. Before the recitation of the Musaa’ib (tragedies) of Imam
Hussain (as) & Abu Fadhil (as) began, the men were preparing for the
re-enactments which would accompany the heart wrenching words. I watched from
far, sobbing, at the man who was dressed as the moon of the Hashemites, with
his blood drenched palms placed on top of him. I was overwhelmed by emotions
and felt this immense chill spread throughout my entire body, something I only
felt when I held onto the bars of the shrines in Karbala on the day of Ashura.
I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing and fell to my knees. At that moment, I
spoke to Abu Fadhil (as) and asked him to help my grandfather on this special
night and bring him back to us if Allah (SWT) wills it. Soon, the men lifted
the man and began to hail “Ya Abbas jeeb il mai li Sukaina!” which translates to
“Oh Abbas, bring the water to Sukaina!”. Remembering the daughters of Imam
Hussain(as), I began to think to myself – What tragedies are we facing compared
to those of the Ahlulbayt (as)? Death is a milestone in the journey that we are
all on, so although the separation from my grandfather may be difficult, I
shouldn’t let it overpower the pain and sorrow which we must feel for them on those holy days.
Half way through the first Latmiya (eulogy), we
received a phone call by my father, telling us that the operation was
successful and jido was breathing normally. I cried out of joy but more out of
astonishment. Abbas (as) – when you ask him, he doesn’t just give. He gives
without delay as if to demonstrate his authority and tell you who he is. I guarantee
all that have requests to read the ziyara of Abu Fadhil (as) every day because
it is not him to reject. On the way home, I remembered that I asked for the
comfort of my grandfather so that didn’t necessarily mean he’d get out of the
coma but that his breathing was fine and that he wasn’t suffering anymore. So,
a voice was telling me that he wouldn’t be with us for much longer. On the
night before Ashura, I read the Ziyara of Hussain (as). By the end of it, I
swear, I had a strong feeling that something would happen the day after. I left
it in the hand of Allah (SWT) & the Ahlulbayt (as) and went to sleep.
Six
in the morning and the house was silent. I heard muffled cries and shot up.
Running down the stairs, I didn’t know what to expect. I saw my mother sobbing,
dressed in black, with her forehead resting on her knees like a young child. I
collapsed on the floor and just began to wail with my sisters. I wasn’t
thinking straight and I wished that I had hugged him a little longer when I last
saw him. I wished that I had told him that I loved him more often and served
him properly. I wished that I told him what he truly meant to me. The last time
I saw him was 2 Muharrams go & when it was time to leave for our flight, I remember
him sitting on the staircase with tears in his eyes, refusing to look up. I
said to him “Jido, don’t cry like I’m never going to see you again” and he
hugged me sadly.
My aunt came over, held me firmly and told me to
stop. She kept saying “Narjis remember Zainab (as) on this day, this is something
small, have the patience of Zainab (as)”. Zainab - Despite seeing the holy heads of her loving
brothers hung on spears, she told the oppressor, may Allah curse his soul for
eternity, that she saw nothing but beauty. We hear this time and time again,
but seriously, it’s beyond comprehension. If you want to understand pain, then
look into their lives. Whether you’ve lost your father, your mother, sibling or
grandparent, what you’ve felt is only a fraction of the grief that lies in
their hearts and in the heart of Sahib Al-Zamaan, Imam Mahdi (May Allah hasten
his reappearance). Yet, their moments of patience are still remembered till
today and we can learn the greatest lessons from them.
Little do we know that Allah can take us when we
least expect it, and we saw this in our community here. Too often we take
advantage of those around us and don’t appreciate each other whilst we’re all
here. It’s a real shame that death is the only thing which can unite us when,
as clichéd as it may sound, we should be united regardless. It has come to the point
where we, the Shia youth, are bickering fighting over absolutely anything. If
it’s not about Wilayat Al-Faqih, then it’s scholar bashing. We have formed so many
different cliques among us that are preventing and have destroyed friendships,
marriages and any hopes of increasing our numbers. The single thing which united
the Shia before was the love for Ali (as), but take a glance upon our degrading
state. Is this what we repay the Ahlulbayt (as) with? When Imam Mahdi (as)
needs us more than ever, we are tweeting about trivial things and hating on
each other?
Men travelled across oceans to seek the truth when it has been
placed in front of us. We’ve abused this privilege at a time where we can
utilise the media to achieve wonders. We are not immortal beings & our time
here is limited. Be productive and stay clear of useless debates, and I say
this to myself before anyone. Think twice, maybe three times, before you wish
to initiate a public discussion that will lead to nothing. We have the ultimate
role models & the gift of guidance by Allah (SWT) when the global goal is to
eradicate this holy message. Be kind to your brothers, merciful and
understanding. To let politics divide us is truly disheartening. Who cares if I
follow Sayed x or if you follow Sayed y? The love of Ali (as) is enough to
destroy these differences and if it isn’t, make it. Let us banish the shackles
of today and work towards empowering the youth for tomorrow before it’s a little
too late.
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